Dawn of Change
by Sorciere
Summary: The stand-alone sequel to Mata Hari. We're moving into R/L and S/J territory, folks! Scary, I know. Don't flame me. I might bite back ;-)


Disclaimer: To quote bart Simpson: "Eat my shorts!"  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: R/L, J/S, (S/R)  
Summary: One relationship is in the making, another must be repaired.  
  
  
***  
  
Dawn of Change  
By Sorcieré  
  
***  
  
If you live on Mutant High, you will eventually notice the signs that preludes every major event - the sudden invasion   
of pastel colored peeps before Easter (followed by Jubilee's screams of "Die, evil killer peeps!") and the mistletoe   
that hangs in just about every room from the beginning of December, if just to mention two.   
  
But nothing can compete with Halloween. It's a running joke among the teachers that we need to put up a sign with   
"DANGER: crazy mutant teenagers ahead!". We never get around to doing it, but after a certain trick-or-treat incident   
a couple of years ago, only the insane and/or very stupid kids knock on our door, anyway.  
  
This year, we had barely entered October before I saw Bobby drag a fake skeleton down the hallway, apparently heading   
for the boys' dorm. I'll admit that I *was* curious, but something told me that I really didn't want to hear Bobby's   
explanation.   
The day after, I heard Jubilee and Kitty try to convince Storm that she would look gorgeous with blue hair. When they   
didn't succeed, they tried to convince Jean instead. Now *there's* a mental picture I could have lived without - but I   
digress.   
  
As crazy as these things might sound, they are pretty normal here - especially around Halloween. The real chaos,   
however, began right after breakfast one Saturday morning in the middle of October...  
  
"Hey, Mr. Summer."   
  
I immediately recognized the voice and looked up from my newspaper.  
  
"Good morning, Rogue," I replied. She sent me a smile, and almost against my will I felt myself smile back.  
  
Rogue reached over and grabbed a piece of bacon from my plate, then looked around.  
  
"Where's Jean?" she asked.  
  
I sighed and put away the paper. I'd expected the question. Others might be fooled by Rogue's party-girl clothes and   
apparent 'air-headed-teen' mentality, but I'm not one of them. Her casual questions are far from that - she watches   
and observes, and she doesn't miss much.  
  
"In the lab. We had a...slight disagreement yesterday."  
  
Rogue nodded slowly.   
  
"Your engagement," she guessed.  
  
I shrugged. What else could I do? It was the truth. Jean and I have been engaged for almost four years now, but we   
keep delaying the wedding. Jean is not perfect, and what we have is not wild, passionate love, but I want to marry her   
anyway. Jean, though...she acts as if she's afraid of real commitment.  
  
But I didn't feel like discussing Jean first thing in the morning, so I quickly changed the subject.  
  
"So, what was it you wanted to talk me into?"  
  
"Can't a girl just want to talk to her friend?" Rogue asked and sent me her best 'innocent-Mississippi-girl'-look. It   
was a look that could make most of the teenage boys fall over themselves to get her attention, but I'd known her for   
too long to fall for that one.  
  
"I know you, Rogue, and you don't 'just talk'."  
  
Rogue grinned.  
  
"Touché, sugar. Actually, I wondered if you're busy today."   
  
I raised an eyebrow. The rational part of my mind screamed at me to get the hell out of there, now! Unfortunately, my   
rational mind underestimated the power of Rogue in a tank top.   
  
"No, I'm not. Why do you ask?"  
  
Notice how I walked right into the trap she'd set for me, despite the sign that spelled DANGER in big, fat neon-letters.   
I think it's a guy thing.  
  
Rogue shrugged with carefully practiced nonchalance.  
  
"Oh, I just wondered if you'd help me find a Halloween costume today. I don't exactly trust Kitty and Jubilee's taste."  
  
I couldn't blame her for that. I *saw* the two girls' costumes last year. Miss Condom and Miss S&M. (I have no doubt   
that Rogue would look great in black leather, though. Which reminds me...isn't she old enough to join the team?)  
  
Anyway, as things were, I decided that I could survive a day of shopping if it would make Rogue happy.   
  
I smiled.  
  
"Sure. Let's meet in the garage in half an hour."  
  
Rogue lit up.  
  
"Thanks, sugar! See ya!"  
  
Then she disappeared among the other students, and I returned to my newspaper.  
  
As I'd find out later, this was also the day when a certain, hairy Canadian turned a certain stolen bike around and headed   
for Westchester.  
  
***  
  
"So, want kind of costume are we looking for?" I asked when we were on our way.  
  
"I'm not sure," Rogue admitted. "Goth, maybe. I don't know."  
  
I nodded slightly. Rogue as a Goth...now there's an interesting thought. Maybe some clothes like the ones she wore during   
that last dance, just all-black instead...  
  
That's when something suddenly occurred to me, and I sent her a quick look before focusing on the road again.  
  
"What about a spy?" I suggested and took a drink from the bottle of cola that we'd brought along.  
  
"What?" Rogue asked with a half-grin. "Spy, as in 'run around in tuxedo and introduce myself as Bond, Jane Bond'?"  
  
I nearly choked on my cola. Rogue just grinned.  
  
"*Jane* Bond?" I repeated incredulously when I was able to talk again.  
  
Rogue smirked.  
  
"Sure - equal opportunities and all."  
  
I grinned and took another sip of my cola before I explained my idea.  
  
"Actually, I was thinking more in the lines of Mata Hari."  
  
Rogue raised an eyebrow, a sure sign that I had her interest. Rogue can hide her feelings very well, but after being   
around her for more than two years, I know what to look for.  
  
"The double-agent?"  
  
"And exotic dancer," I said, then added theatrically: "Mysterious, dangerous, seductive!"  
  
Rogue grinned.  
  
"Mata Hari..." she repeated. Then she smiled slowly and rather predatorily and I knew that she'd figured out why I   
suggested that particular costume.  
  
"It's definitely fitting," she finally said.   
  
"So, Mata Hari it is?" I asked.  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Mata Hari it is."  
  
***  
  
It took a while, but eventually we found a small story that had the kind of costume Rogue wanted.   
  
Now that I think about it, we could have walked into any big store and grabbed a mass-produced 'Persian Dancer' costume,   
but Rogue insisted that we found something with a little more personality. I've always suspected that she somehow knew   
that Logan would return during the ball, and that she knew exactly what she needed in order to bring Logan completely   
under her spell...but I am getting ahead of myself again.  
  
Anyway, we found a small store and Rogue parked me on a chair next to the changing rooms, while she disappeared into one   
of said rooms while a costume. Figuring it would take a while - I *have* been shopping before - I leaned back and watched   
the other customers sort through colorful costumes.   
I hadn't seen the costume Rogue had picked, but I've seen photographs of the real Mata Hari, and the clothes she wore were   
barely on this side of decent.   
  
Rogue...and a costume like that...and a Halloween ball on Mutant High...  
  
It wasn't very nice of me, but I couldn't help but smirk at the thought of people's reactions when Rogue showed up in   
*that*. God, those teenage boys would be like a bunch of drooling puppies, and-  
  
"Scott?"  
  
I was dragged out of my reverie and I turned to look at Rogue-  
-and oh, my God, that dress-  
-flimsy, almost mist-like-  
-Lord, she was Sin personified.  
  
And at that moment I think I would have done *anything* she asked me to, Jean, Xavier and the X-Men be damned.   
  
Rogue raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Well?"  
  
I sank and took a long, hard look at the vision in front of me. A flimsy, pale green dress that hugged her breasts and   
stomach like a second skin, and then spread out and became a wide skirt. A yellow scarf that clung to her ass - and what   
I wouldn't give to be that scarf - and a large, white, see-through scarf draped across her arms. She'd found some gloves   
made from the same fabric as the dress and, with a little luck, she could probably even wear that costume without a body   
suit under it.  
I barely noticed the elaborate headpiece and the golden patterns at the lower part of the dress, but focused on the woman   
in front of me --- who was still waiting for my answer.  
  
"It's...you're beautiful, Rogue," I finally managed to say. It was probably the understatement of the year, but it was   
the best I could do at that time.  
  
It must have been enough, though, for Rogue blushed slightly and sent me an oddly shy smile.  
  
"Do you really think so?" she asked, and for a long, surreal moment I saw a young, insecure girl behind the confidant   
facade.  
  
I smiled back - a kind, gentle smile, because I suddenly felt an absurd fear of scaring this young girl away.   
  
"Yes. Yes, I do. You're gorgeous, Rogue. Trust me on that," I assured her.  
  
Rogue turned around to get a good look in the mirror on the wall. She spun around, causing the green fabric to fall in   
waves around her, then took some bracelets form a nearby shelf and put then on.   
  
She looked at me, and her smile was once again pure Rogue. Then she laughed delighted.  
  
"God, Scott, this is gonna be so fun!"  
  
Her laughed was infectious and I grinned.  
  
"They'll never know what hit them," I agreed.  
  
Rogue spun around one last time, admiring the dress from every possible angle.   
  
"It's perfect," she said, "absolutely perfect."  
  
***  
  
The next two weeks were relatively uneventful, with the exception of the usual Halloween-pranks - Bobby Drake put a   
skeleton in St. John's bed, who get even by dumping a handful of rubber-worms in Bobby's underpants.  
Jubilee put make-up on Remy while he was sleeping, and Rogue and Kitty took up a dare and went skinny-dipping in the   
indoor pool, much to the joy of Remy, Bobby and St. John who'd dared them to do it. They didn't enjoy it, though, when it   
was their turn to take up a dare - the two girls made them walk around an entire day in women-clothes.  
All in all, life was pretty normal.  
  
***  
  
And finally, the grand day came.   
  
I was in the hallway, putting up the last decorations, when I heard the door open. I figured it was one of the kids and   
hung up another Jack-o-lantern without bothering to look at the door. I registered at some unconscious level that the   
person still was in the room, but I ignored it.  
  
"Havin' fun, One-Eye?"  
  
I froze. I knew who it was, I recognized the voice and the speech-pattern, but for a long moment my rational mind refused   
to believe it. He was in Canada, damnit! He was in Canada on *my* bike!  
I turned around and halfway expected to find that the voice had been nothing more than my imagination.   
  
It wasn't.   
  
Logan stood there, leaned against the wall, with his arms crossed and watched me with an amused expression. A thousand   
memories flooded my mind - the burning trailer in Canada, his flirting with Jean, the night Rogue had tried to wake him   
up, the Statue of Liberty, the sound of my motorcycle leaving the school without me on it. I was pissed at him for   
stealing my bike, but also oddly relieved on Rogue's behalf that he had returned safely.   
  
Oh God, were things always this complicated?  
  
"Logan," I greeted him as calmly as I could. He arched an eyebrow at my seeming calmness and I had the feeling that he   
could see right through me. I briefly wondered if Rogue's similar ability to look straight through any appearance was   
something that she'd gotten from Logan, but decided that speculations like that could wait.   
  
People change - it's inevitable. I'd changed, maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. Jean had changed, Rogue had   
changed...even Storm, the ethereal goddess of the sky, had changed.  
Logan, though...he still looked like he did when he left more than two years ago. The same I-don't-give-a-shit attitude,   
the same slight arrogance, the same annoying smirk. Physically, he hadn't changed.  
  
That's when I started to notice the small things - the fact that his eyes look decades older than last time I'd seen him.   
The way he'd picked a place to stand where it would be impossible for anyone to enter the room without him seeing it. The   
way his body had tensed almost unnoticeably.   
  
The pieces of the puzzle fell into place - he'd found something in Canada.   
  
And whatever it was, he didn't like it.  
  
I wondered what he could possibly have found that would make him react like that, and knew that he would most likely never   
tell me - nor anyone else on the school, with Rogue as the only possible exception.   
  
I'm not sure how long we stood there and just watched each other, but suddenly Logan's gaze flew to the door next to me   
and he smirked.  
  
"Hey, Red."  
  
"Oh, my God! Logan?" Jean exclaimed and hugged him. Gee, what a surprise. Jean still held onto the hope that Logan wanted   
her. I had the feeling that she would be ripped of the hope the moment Rogue made her entrance.   
  
"The one and only, Jeannie," Logan assured her and let go. Then he tossed something to me. I caught it midair and as I   
opened my hand, I was surprised to find the keys to my motorcycle.  
  
"She's as good as new, Scooter, and the tank is full. She's one hell of a bike, I'll give you that," Logan remarked.   
  
Good as new? Full tank? I was shocked. This was not the complete destruction that I'd imagined. I mean, that bike and   
Logan in cold, snowy Canada...to be honest, I would have been amazed if the bike even *worked* when he returned it.  
  
Any witty - or not so witty - reply I might have come up with was cut off when the fourth person in this bizarre   
love-story entered the room. Unlike Jean and I, who wasn't going to dress up this year, Rogue was already in costume.   
  
I just happened to be looking at Logan when our resident Mata Hari entered the room, and there was no doubt that Rogue   
had picked the right dress. Jean immediately forgotten, Logan watched Rogue's every move with an animal's intensity.   
  
I turned slightly to watch Rogue's reaction. She smiled - the brilliant, dazzling smile that she reserved for special   
occasions - and threw herself at him. She was going for the teenage-girl routine...smart choice. Logan would have to   
get used to the way she'd changed before she would be able to ensnare him completely.  
  
The way Jean and Logan had hugged had been the 'Good To See You'-hug. This was a full-grown 'Damn I Missed You And I'm   
Never Letting You Go'-hug. At that point Jean could have danced naked on the tables and Logan wouldn't have spared her   
a second glance.  
  
Poor, clueless Logan. He'd lost the game before it even got started, and he didn't even know it.  
  
I watched the reunion with a lot of amusement - and a bit of sorrow. It's was pretty good entertainment to see Logan walk   
right into the trap Rogue had set for him - her sensual movements, the way she made sure to press against a lot of the   
erogenous zones when she hugged him - but on the other hand it was kind of depressing. Up until that point, I had been   
the only person that Rogue confided in. Sure, she, Kitty and Jubilee were good friends, but she couldn't talk with them   
like she could with me. For a long time, Rogue had been mine alone, and I felt a sudden, irrational fear that Logan's   
return would mean the end of our friendship.   
  
I suddenly remembered something and turned to look at Jean. I must admit, I had been rather curious regarding Jean's   
reaction - both to Rogue's costume and to the fact that Rogue obviously had the upper hand regarding Logan.  
  
To my surprise, she didn't look jealous or resentful, but instead she had a look of quiet acceptance. I frowned ever so   
slightly. This whole thing was starting to get pretty strange.  
  
What happened next, happened so fast that I would have missed it if I had looked away for even a second. Rogue lifted   
her head from Logan's shoulder and looked straight at Jean, who stared right back. For a long moment they just stood   
like that, and I could have sworn that some wordless conversation was taking place between them.  
  
Then Jean smiled faintly and bowed her head in the slightest of gestures, so diminutive that I would never have noticed   
it if I hadn't looked straight at her.  
Rogue smiled back at her, then snuggled into Logan's embrace again.  
  
I'll readily admit that I had no clue as to what just passed between the two women, but it was obviously important. I   
didn't have the chance to wonder about it, though, because moments later I felt Jean put a gentle hand on my arm.  
  
I looked at her and she nodded towards the door.  
  
"I think there're still a few rooms we need to decorate," she said. The message was clear: *give them some privacy.*  
  
I nodded and followed her out of the room.  
  
***  
  
I waited until we were out of hearing range before I gently, but firmly, pushed Jean into a room and shut the door.  
  
"Are you going to tell me what just happened?" I half asked, half demanded. Yes, in retrospect it was not very nice of   
me to talk that way to her, but I tend to get annoyed when I find myself in the dark. And this situation was about as   
black as they came.  
  
Jean looked up sharply at my tone, but knew me well enough to realize that my demanding voice wasn't done on purpose.   
Then her expression changed to one of confusion when my words registered.   
  
"What are you talking about, Scott? Logan returned, that's what happened."  
  
I shook my head slightly.  
  
"I'm not talking about you and Logan. I'm talking about you and *Rogue*," I clarified. "Something happened in that   
room, and I want to know what."  
  
Jean sent me a bitter, little smile.   
  
"Didn't it ever occur to you that it might not be any of your business?" she asked.  
  
I sighed.  
  
"Okay, I deserved that one," I admitted, "but..."  
  
I stopped, unable to find the right words.  
  
Jean just waited patiently, most likely understanding that this was something I *needed* to know. I always feel that   
way - I think it was something I picked up when I became the leader of the team. You have to get as much information as   
possible before you go on a mission, otherwise you might get one of your teammates killed. I guessed it just slowly   
started to rub off on my private life - I feel that I have to know as much as I can about the world around me.  
  
And this case was definitely no exception.  
  
I shook my head in frustration.  
  
"Jean, you and Rogue have been competing for Logan's attention since day one. And then suddenly, when Logan finally   
returns home, you share one - ONE - look with Rogue and all but drag me out of the room to give them some privacy.   
It...it doesn't make sense," I admitted.  
  
To my immense surprise, Jean just laughed. It wasn't the usual forced laugh most people hear from her, but a real,   
heartfelt laugh. Lord, I'd missed that sound.  
  
"Oh, Scott," she said and caressed my cheek gently. "You really don't get it, do you? Yes, I wanted Logan, but the  
moment I saw his reaction to Rogue, I knew he would never be mine. We might have had some fabulous sex, but in the   
end he would have chosen Rogue."   
  
She paused for a second and looked thoughtfully at some point behind me.  
  
"Maybe it was for the better," she admitted. "Logan and I...would are too different. We would never have worked in   
the long run."  
  
I remained silent, and she focused on me once more.  
  
"*That* was what happened. I told Rogue that I would stay away from Logan, and she assured me that there were no   
hard feelings between us."  
  
I suddenly felt like an intruder. Jean was right - this was none of my business. This was between her and Rogue. I   
had no place in this particular equation.  
  
"Jean, I..."  
  
Jean touched my lips with her fingertips.  
  
"Shh...it's okay, Scott. I understand."  
  
She waited until I nodded slowly, then she reached out and opened the door.  
  
"Come on, Blue Eyes. I think we have some rooms to decorate."  
  
I nodded again, but had only heard two of her words - Blue Eyes, her pet name for me.  
  
Blue Eyes...  
  
She took to calling me that when I told her the real color of my eyes. The last time she used it was...two days   
before Rogue and Logan arrived. Yes, two days. It was an early morning, and we were admiring the clear, blue sky.   
We were lying in the bed when Jean looked at me and said: "I think your eyes must be the same beautiful color as the   
sky, Blue Eyes." Then she'd giggled and I had tickled her and we didn't get out of bed until much later.  
  
Blue Eyes.  
  
She didn't call me that after Logan arrived. She hadn't called me that for two years.   
  
Blue Eyes...  
  
I hesitated, then reached out for her hand. Jean looked surprised but quickly recovered. She took my hand and gave   
it a friendly squeeze before we left the room together.  
  
It was a small gesture, but it gave me a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time.  
  
It gave me hope.  
  
***  
  
Noon turned to afternoon, afternoon turned to evening, and I found myself standing on the top of the stairs, watching   
as the students walked into the room, some in couples, some in small groups.  
  
Jubilee and Kitty walked by, this year wearing 'Vampirella' costumes. Apparently, Rogue was not the only one going   
for the sexy-gal look. Our newest 'kid', Kurt Wagner, had jumped the wagon with them as a blue-furred Dracula,   
accompanied by Paige in a Cleopatra costume.  
  
"Jubes! Kit-Kat!" Bobby yelled, and waved at them. Kitty and Jubilee stopped and waited for him.  
  
"Hey, Bobby! Catch!" St. John, dressed as a medieval knight in plastic armor, tossed a rubber axe to Bobby the Viking who   
caught it triumphantly and raised it high in the air.  
  
"HAHA! I am Robert the Red, King of the Vikings! Bow to me or I will raid your villages, steal your women and force you   
to listen to bad pop music for all eternity! I am strong! I am powerful! I am-"  
  
"-About to lose your kingdom, you heathen!" St. John declared and pointed his plastic sword at Bobby.  
  
Bobby stepped back and pulled his own plastic sword.  
  
"Never! By the Gods of Valhalla, I will fight to the end!" he shot back theatrically and the two engaged in a mock fight   
to the hooting and cheering from the small crowd.   
  
I grinned. It was good to see them so cheerful and carefree. And it *was* fun to watch, I'll admit.  
  
Bobby and St. John battled back and forth until Bobby finally succeeded in knocking St. John's sword out of its owner's   
hand. The crowd that had gathered cheered and Bobby raised both sword and rubber-axe in triumph.   
  
"The unbeatable champion!" he declared with typical Bobby-modesty...or lack of same.  
  
St. John grinned.  
  
"I'll get you next time, Drake. Trust me on that."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, promises, promises," Bobby said and the crowd slowly dissolved, leaving only two vampires and the two   
battle-happy warriors behind.  
  
Kitty looked around.  
  
"Where's Rogue? I haven't see her all day."   
  
I shrugged. *Technically*, I wasn't lying. I really didn't know where Rogue was. I knew whom she was with, but not where.   
I briefly wondered if I should tell them that Logan was back, but decided against it. They would find out soon enough...and   
Rogue loved to surprise people. And this was going to be one surprise they wouldn't forget soon.   
  
Jubilee was the first to spot them.  
  
"Oh, my God! He's *back*?!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Wha-" Kitty began, then stopped. "Oh!"  
  
It wasn't the girls' reaction I was interested in, though; it was the boys'. After all, they were the ones who'd been   
exposed to Rogue's southern belle charm for two years and I wanted to know just how smitten they were. No, it wasn't very   
nice of me, and yes, I have a sick sense of humor, but on Mutant High one takes whatever entertainment one can get.  
  
Bobby and St. John looked down the hallway - and froze...almost literally, in Bobby's case.  
  
Rogue and Logan looked good together; I had to admit that. Rogue was still wearing her Mata Hari costume, and Logan had   
put on a black shirt and matching pants - he'd even shaved. This was not the Wolverine I was used to seeing, but it was a   
change for the better - he looked younger and less...animalistic, I guess.   
  
Logan said something to Rogue and she laughed. I felt a sting of pain at the sight - jealously is a nasty thing, but I   
couldn't help but feel a little resentful. Logan had been home for half a day - seven hours, I counted them - and already   
he was with Rogue in a more-than-just-friendly way. A moment later I remembered that he probably couldn't have said no,   
even if he wanted to.   
  
Rogue had played her game excellently - small, 'accidental' touches, the almost feline quality in her movements - and   
tamed the beast. I didn't completely approve of it, but what could I do?  
  
Bobby seemed to think in the same lines. While St. John just looked at bit resigned - he probably guessed long ago that   
he would never have a chance - Bobby looked downright furious. His expression didn't show it, but his eyes did. They   
looked like they were made of pure ice...and with Bobby, it wouldn't surprise me if they really were.   
  
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Bobby had known Rogue since the day she arrived, and suddenly seeing the girl   
of his dreams with another man didn't go well with him.   
Well, join the club, Drake.   
  
"Hey, guys," Rogue greeted when they reached us. I noticed that Bobby had disappeared - smart move. Logan would probably   
be a bit pissed if he found Bobby staring at Rogue. The boy has great survival instincts, if nothing else.  
  
St. John tore his eyes away from Rogue's cleavage before he got on Logan's "Needs Killing"-list.   
  
"Hey, Rogue. What's with the costume?" he asked.  
  
Rogue let go of Logan's hand and spun around. I recognized the move from the day we bought the dress - so she'd been   
planning and practicing even then. Interesting.  
  
"I'm Mata Hari," she said and grinned. "Can't you see that?"  
  
I think I was the only one who caught the true meaning of those words. St. John just smiled.  
  
"Cool."  
  
"That dress is *so* you, chica!" Jubilee said enthusiastic. Then she gave Logan an once-over and winked at her friend.   
  
Rogue smiled impishly and Kitty giggled.  
  
"Come on, let's get downstairs," St. John said and started toward the stairs, followed by Jubilee and Kitty. It took a   
moment before they noticed that Logan and Rogue weren't following them.  
  
"Rogie?" Kitty asked.  
  
"It's okay, Logan and I have some catching up to do," she replied with a grin.  
  
Kitty raised an eyebrow and mouthed an 'Oh'. Then she winked at Rogue and followed St. John and Jubilee downstairs.  
  
Catching up? I didn't like the sound of that. And besides, hadn't she had enough time to 'catch up' since Logan got   
here. I suddenly remembered something and checked my watch.  
  
"Sorry, Rogue, I gotta go. I promise Jean I would help her with the last things in the kitchen."  
  
Logan didn't look particular sorry to see me go, but Rogue just nodded understanding.  
  
"Okay, se ya later."  
  
I nodded and turned to leave.  
  
"Have fun," I said over my shoulder, then headed for the kitchen.  
  
***  
  
When I got back an hour later, the music was noticeably louder and a lot more of the students had ventured out on the   
dance-floor.  
  
I looked down from the top of the stairs and let my eyes fly across the room. There was Jubilee and...eh...someone   
dressed as a mummy. St. John talking to a girl. Kitty and Bobby, who apparently got over the envy of seeing Rogue with   
Logan.  
  
And speaking of which...I quickly scanned the room, but couldn't see them. Hmm. If I wanted to be alone with the love   
of my life, where would I go? Well, where did I used to go with Jean?  
  
Oh, yeah. I turned around and headed for the balcony.   
  
***  
  
On the floor above the hall where the students were gathered, it was blissfully silent. I'd forgotten that silence   
could sound so good. I stood still for a moment and just enjoyed the sudden calmness, then headed down the hallway.  
  
I stopped a bit from the balcony. They were standing there, all right. And talking, from the looks of it. Against my   
better judgement, I sneaked closer, and realized - a little belated - that if Logan paid even the slightest attention   
to his surroundings, he would notice me, and I would be in some serious trouble. And after the way Logan acted when he   
arrived, the odds were most definitely not on my side.  
  
Luckily, it appeared that Rogue had his full attention, and - once more against my better judgement - I concentrated   
on their conversation. My curiosity was obviously planning to get me killed, but at this moment, I really didn't care.  
  
"-Grown up, Logan. I haven't been a kid for a very long time," Rogue said.   
  
Logan sighed.  
  
"I know, Marie. It's just...I'm used to seeing you as the kid I picked up on a snowy road in Canada," he explained.   
"And then I come home and suddenly you've grown into a beautiful woman. It's..."  
  
He tailed off and caressed Rogue's cheek with a gloved hand. No, not Rogue. Marie. In the brief pause that followed,   
I wondered how many people knew her real name. It couldn't be many. I knew for certain that her friends only knew her   
as Rogue. Not even *I* knew her real name. It must be a bit difficult to suddenly change one's name, but Rogue already   
had it down to an art when she arrived. Logan knew Rogue's real name before we met them, and I couldn't help but wonder   
why Rogue chose Logan, of all people, to confide in.  
  
Rogue's voice interrupted my little reverie.  
  
"I changed," she said and took Logan's hand. "Not all change is bad, sugar. I don't know what you found at that lake,   
but it doesn't matter to me. I promise."  
  
Logan looked up and smiled slightly. The smile quickly disappeared, though.  
  
"Marie, I'm...it's bad. Real bad," he admitted.  
  
I wanted to scream at him to tell her what it was - but not as much for Rogue's sake as my own, I must admit. God, my   
curiosity was killing me! I knew it had to be bad to make Logan act like this, but again I felt the need to know   
everything around me. I had to know.  
  
Rogue sent him a reassuring smile.  
  
"It's okay. If you want to tell me, do it when you're ready."  
  
Logan nodded slightly and looked at her.  
  
"I will," he promised. "I will."  
  
Rogue smiled.  
  
"I'm gonna hold you to that, sugar," she said and I could almost feel the mood lighten.   
  
Logan grinned and I could once again see the feral person I used to know. He reached out and slowly pulled the white   
scarf off Rogue's shoulders. When it was completely off, he covered the lower half of Rogue's face with the thin   
scarf and leaned closer until they were only inches apart.  
  
And time stopped. I knew what would happen and I knew that I didn't wanted to see it, but I found myself unable to   
leave. And for an eternal moment they just stared into each other's eyes.  
  
Then Rogue's lips parted slightly and Logan moved the last, few inches.   
  
Their lips touched, and at that moment I don't think anything short of nuclear explosion would have caught their   
attention. At first the kiss was gentle, careful, as if they were afraid to hurt the other. Then Rogue leaned closer   
and the kiss deepened.   
  
Rogue's gloved hands found their way to Logan's hair, messing up his two trademark points of hair. Logan let his   
hands slide down Rogue's curves ever so slowly until they finally came to rest on the lower part of her back, all   
while their mouths were locked in a ferocious battle.  
  
Finally their lips parted and they just stared intensely at each other. Then Rogue let her arms slide around Logan's   
waist and rested her forehead against his chest.  
Logan looked down and smiled softly - and who knew the Wolverine would be capable of that - and kissed her on the top   
of her head, where her hair could protect him from the deadly skin.  
  
It hurt, I'll admit that. It hurt to see them like that, and I caught myself thinking that Logan didn't deserve   
someone like Rogue. He'd left her, damnit! Yes, he *did* leave his dog tags with her, but he left her for more than two   
years. Two years!   
  
Deciding that I'd seen enough - and knowing that I could be discovered any moment - I left as quietly as I could.  
  
***  
  
I'm not sure how long I wandered around, but eventually I found myself on the roof. It was bathed in the soft glow from   
the moon, and was completely silent with the exceptions of the occasional sound of a small animal and the wind in the   
trees.  
  
It was perfect.   
  
I sat down and let my thoughts flow freely, thoughts of hate and jealousy, of joy and friendship, of past and present.   
Of hope and those who had found it. Of love and those who had lost it.  
  
Absorbed in my thoughts, I didn't notice the dark shadow that soundlessly made its way across the roof.  
  
"What are ya doing here, sugar?" a voice asked. I turned my hear sharply - my instinctive reaction to surprises - and   
saw Rogue standing beside me, still dressed in her costume. She'd taken off the bracelets and the tiara-like headpiece,   
and only the dog tags were left to capture the soft ray of silver moonlight. For a long moment I just watched them as   
they rested on her pale skin and moved with each breath.  
  
Rogue sat down next to me and unconsciously touched the small metal plate and I felt a stab of returning jealousy. A   
pang of guilt followed it, and I crushed the feeling of jealousy before it had the time to grow into something worse.   
For the first time in two long years, Rogue looked truly happy. The hardness in her eyes was still there, but had   
softened noticeably. The smile that graced her lips was for once without ulterior motives.  
  
I was supposed to be her friend, and a friend would have shared her happiness.  
  
Not liking the way my thoughts were heading, I focused on her question.  
  
"I needed some time to think," I replied. "How about you? Why aren't you downstairs with Logan?"  
  
"I knew you'd be here," she replied.  
  
I looked at her and her little smile told me that she knew I wanted a better explanation.  
  
"Life is confusing, isn't it?" she asked. It was a rhetorical question but I answered anyway.  
  
"It is."  
  
Rogue continued as if she hadn't heard my reply.  
  
"Everything has just been so complicated lately. I love Logan, and I know he loves me. We're together now. We'll have   
our good times; we'll have our bad times. It's not going to be a perfect relationship, because no relationship is. But   
we love each other. And hopefully, that will be enough."  
  
She paused for a long moment before she finally continued.   
  
"I love you, but you know that, don't you?" she asked.  
  
I nodded.  
  
"I know."   
  
I didn't have to tell her that I loved her, too. She already knew. She'd known it for a long time.  
  
"I love you, Scott, but I don't love like *that*. You're...you're my best friend. Right now, I think of you as the   
brother I never had. Maybe in time, we could have fallen in love, but in the here and now, I belong with Logan, and   
weather you'll admit it or not, you belong with Jean."  
  
"Jean and I, we're not-"  
  
She held up her hand to stop my words, and sent me a patient smile. And for a short moment, I guess I'd forgotten   
exactly how much she really notices of her surroundings, the amount of knowledge that's hidden in the depths of the   
minds she carries around.   
  
"Yeah, your relationship is still kinda fucked up, but it's a whole lot better than it was two years ago, you gotta   
admit that. It's gonna take a while to rebuild what you once had, but don't you think it'll be worth it?"   
  
I shrugged.  
  
"Maybe. I don't know. What if it doesn't work? What if Jean finds someone else?"  
  
"What if it *did* work? What if she fell in love with you again? Or is the Fearless Leader scared of taking a chance?   
Scared that things might change?" she taunted.   
  
"It's none of your goddamn business!" I hissed through clinched teeth, and only then did I realize that I'd done   
exactly what she wanted me to do: loose control.  
  
Rogue arched an eyebrow, a decidedly Logan-ese trait.   
  
"So you can show emotions, sugar," she noted. "Does Jean know that? Or has she only seen Cyclops, and not the person   
behind the mask?"  
  
I sighed, my anger forgotten.  
  
"I used to drop my mask around her, but that was before...  
  
"...Before Logan and I showed up," Rogue finished. "And now you've found that it's a lot easier to close your heart   
off, instead of taking the risk of getting hurt."  
  
I didn't answer, and Rogue continued ruthlessly.  
  
"It might prevent you from getting hurt, but it ain't no way to live, sugar. Trust me on that. Allow yourself to feel   
and you might get hurt every once in a while, but shit happens. It's inevitable. The point is that you'll get a lot   
more good experiences than bad."   
  
"It's not as easy as it sound," I reminded her.  
  
Rogue just glared at me.  
  
"Shit, sugar! When did anyone ever say that life was easy? We're only human. We make mistakes. We can just try not   
to make too many of them."  
  
She stood up.  
  
"I better get downstairs before Logan tears the school apart to find me."  
  
I nodded, not really registering her words. Right now, my mind was too busy to process what she'd just said.   
  
"Don't stay up here all night," she whispered.  
  
Then she kissed me on the top of my head and left as silently as she had appeared.  
  
It suddenly occurred to me that we'd discussed something like this before, and fragments from a long ago conversation   
drifted to me from the shadows of my memory.  
  
"Are you afraid of change, sugar?" I whispered, mimicking Rogue's words.  
  
Afraid of change?   
  
In a sudden flash of insight I realized that those words were true. Cyclops had never liked changes. And Scott...?   
  
I stood up and headed for the stairs.  
  
Maybe it was time to find out.  
  
  
***  
  
~Fin~  
  
*** 


End file.
